Thank you to our Ambassador Ben Farinazzo for all his support, and sharing his story to raise awareness about PTSD and how our programs can support Kids in families impacted by this condition. Below is an article published by the Daily Telegraph featuring Ben’s story.

The Kids Ask “What Did I Do Wrong?”

ARMY VET ASKS FOR UNDERSTANDING OF HOW MENTAL ILLNESS HITS FAMILIES

By Anton Rose, Daily Telegraph, 1 July 2023

For 10 years army veteran Ben Farinazzo went undiagnosed for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) but in that decade even those close to him new something was wrong.

“The moment I got home my wife noticed things had changed she could tell something was different,” he said. Mr Farinazzo had just returned from a deployment to East Timor and is sharing the struggles he went through in a bid to raise awareness of how mental health impacts the whole family unit.

“I wasn’t formally diagnosed until 2012, a decade later, and in that time we had three children. My kids haven’t ever really known me without PTSD, it’s always been a part of their life,” he said. Mr Farinazzo is one of 148,000 Australians who deal with PTSD, according to a 2021 study. Twelve per cent of Australians will experience PTSD in their lifetimes, with women more than twice as likely to suffer. For years Mr Farinazzo would not be able to sleep because of nightmares, sleeping during the day to catch up and irritated by little things like dogs barking or a loud television. Eventually it would have an impact on his home life, disrupting the everyday things to the point his young children would let him “Have a break in another room” with a cup of tea.

In 2014 things got so bad he was hospitalised. “In those dark times when I went into hospital it could have been a breaking point for us all but there I found the kids loved me unconditionally in those darkest moments and gave me inspiration to be the best person I can be,” he said.

“I’m aware PTSD is something that can drive families apart … it sounds crazy but when my son was in year six he said ‘PTSD is the best thing that ever happened to us’. He said ‘We have more time to spend with each other now because you used to work so much we never saw you’.”

Mr Farinazzo went on to win gold medals in indoor rowing at the Invictus Games and now works closely with the Kookaburra Kids Foundation, an organisation dedicated to supporting children impacted by mental illness in the family home.

Forensic mental health clinical nurse consultant Lee Knight, who is on the foundation’s board, said it would be a confusing time for a child when a parent is suffering from mental health issues.

“That change they see in their parents they don’t know where it came from,” Mr Knight said. “They might have been fun, loving, did lots of things with the kids, cook dinner, went to sport and then there’s a change and the kids ask ‘What did I do wrong why are they distant now?’”

“It is quite a confusing time for kids because they don’t know why it is happening”.